13-Reminiscing The Good Old Days

COOK LIKE A THAI MADE SIMPLE

And this inspires me to create a dish that will remind me of home.

Cook Like A Thai Made Simple, The Official COOK LIKE A THAI Podcast With Pradichaya Poonyarit

Home at this particular moment is neither the one with my immediate family in Las Vegas, nor the one in Bangkok with my only sister.
It's the “home” feeling for the little things I remember: a small group in the family gathering, the delicate-looking and most delicious Thai snack dishes served continuously - and endlessly - amid laughter and tears of joy, and sometimes even sadness. At those moments in time, carefree and without the awareness of what was going on with my relatives, I was there.
Every so often, someone would pause long enough to offer me food,
“Have you had this, Gafaae?” she would ask.
Gafaae means coffee. It is also my nickname, given to me by a famous, late Thai National Artist, Saowalee Pagapund (pund - like done. I spell this as close as possible to how it sounds, so you have some idea of how beautiful this name is. My apologies, should it be different from the true spelling.) I was told there were two reasons why the nickname was given: 1) because of my dark, golden colored skin tone, and 2) my dad's love for coffee.
Khun Saowalee was a friend and colleague of my older uncle, and so she and my parents got to know each other and then became friends. And that's why she visited when my mom gave birth to me.
Back to the story when my relative offered me food.
I shook my head, and my mom - it could also be my grandma - immediately reminded me that it wasn't polite, that I should verbally answer my “auntie.” (Cousins are aunts, the world is full of aunts, uncles, sisters, brothers, grandmas, grandpas, etc. To shorten this long explanation, it's the Thai respect system, got it?)
I then said, “No ka, Auntie.” - Ka is a female polite ending required of any good, polite females.
Auntie smiled, and that immediately warmed me up all the way to my heart. ‘I like her’ was my thought.
I smiled back.
“Smile more, Gafaae. You look beautiful when you smile.”
I watched her add tiny amounts from several dishes (also served in small sizes) inside a green leafy veggie that she had cleverly folded into a funnel, which fit between her left thumb and index finger.
‘A green well,’ I thought to myself.
She topped it off with some golden-brown gooey sauce that made me salivate. I knew that the sauce would be sticky, and sweet like the colorful paper wrapped coconut sugar candies I wasn't allowed.
As I peered into the leafy green, I was amazed.
‘How can so many yummy things fit inside this cute, toy-sized veggie funnel?’
Then my eyes opened wide. ‘Oh, no. Oh, no! No, no, no, no, no!’ They began to well with tears. I looked up at my auntie while thinking terrifying thoughts.
‘I can't eat vegetables, and there's a lot of that! But if I can't, then I won't get to the sweet gooey stuff and other goodies underneath! And, Mom and Khunyai would be mad at me! This auntie! This beautiful, sweet, and kind auntie! She’d be sad when I don't eat this yummy … stuff!’
“Here, little Gafaae, Auntie will feed you. It's messy. Open your mouth, it's so yummy.”
Something made these words fly out of my mouth, “I’m allergic!”
Laughter everywhere, and my “uncles” who didn't seem like they paid attention, started to tease me.
I hated that! I turned away; and without looking at the now somewhat confused auntie, I said, “No, thank you. I’m allergic to green veggies. Could you please remove the leaf so I could eat what's inside?”
My mom inched closer to me. She whispered, “Gafaae, you will accept the food now and eat the whole thing, or you will…”
I closed my eyes tightly. I hated vegetables, with one exception - cilantro. Why couldn't this snack have cilantro instead?
However, the fear of what might happen to me was more than my “allergies” to green vegetables. So, I turned toward the auntie and dropped my jaw with a tiny, almost inaudible sob.
‘Will I puke? Don't puke. Don't puke! Just chew quickly and swallow. Oh wait, if I do that, I’ll miss the yummy stuff! Oh, no, I have to chew slowly. Don't puke! Mom would be mad at me.’
The world stopped as I felt the tiny ball of leaf filling up my mouth space.
An echo of a voice far away gently sounded, “Chew slowly, Sweetie. Let the extraordinary divine bite fill up your taste buds. You will add to your life a new meaning.”
As I brought my mouth together, I heard some distant noise: “You know that Gafaae is not even six, right? Don't waste your philosophy on her, she won't understand!”
I was aware, yet felt detached. I was there without being there. My only focus was on chewing, breaking down the leafy barrier to get to the real things inside.
The fear of gagging in my head stopped immediately as soon as the wetness, the warmness and sweetness oozed into and filled my mouth.
Before I could float away with the glorious sweet sauce, I chewed something hard - but tiny - so it was okay.
Once that broke down, the salty, savory taste, plus a nice smell, mixed into the sweet taste that was already there.
I opened my eyes, surprised by the addition. ‘Is this it? Is this the ultimate flavor?’
But before I could let my overjoyed sense of taste flood me, something else showed up. It was a tiny piece of something bursting all over my mouth cavity.
‘It smelled so good, but it was sorta spicy? Was it tiny chili peppers? Nope. Auntie skipped those! Oh, it was hot, but bearable. It just popped and disappeared. Ooh, I wanna try another. Is there more?’
I quickened my chewing in the hope of more tiny spicy bursts. The longer I chewed, the more I salivated.
It was then that I noticed the sourness coming from other things.
‘Oh, so sour, so good! This was hidden from me and only came out after I chewed for a while!’
That was when I reached the “it-can’t-get-better-than-this” level of fulfillment. The same auntie looked at me expectantly. It looked as if she was waiting for this moment.
“You liked it?”
I quickly nodded several times, then regretted it when I saw the looks on my mom's face from the corner of my eye.
Before Mom had said anything, Auntie quickly grabbed another green veggie to make a funnel, and this time filled it with more goodies, and right before adding the marvelous gooey brown sauce turned to me and smiled a big, open smile.
“I'm so glad you liked it, Gafaae. My niece and nephews - the same age as you - didn't.”
And as she scooped the yummy sauce in a tiny spoon, she beamed, “I made it. I'm very happy with it this time around.”
As others chimed in with their compliments, someone said, “Your dish is excellent, my dear, and it's proven from the toughest critic! There's your honest to goodness review out from the mouths of babes!”
I watched in anticipation the sauce dripping onto the small, but filled to the top, veggie funnel.
It somehow looked golden before turning back to dark brown as soon as it blanketed over the fillings. I opened my mouth, waiting for the small wonder of heaven to come.
More laughter from all. “Hurry up! Feed the hungry Gafaae!”
“You like vegetables now?” Auntie asked, as she fed me the glorious bite of her creation.
I quickly nodded. I know, I know. My nodding could bring troubles, but my mouth was kinda busy!
Auntie said something again. “You promise me you will at least try all things new once, before you judge?”
‘Yes, yes, YES!’ I nodded, nodded, and nodded. Nothing in the world mattered at the moment.
‘Please just leave me to enjoy whatever this delicious thing is you made. Let me have a one-on-one with the food!’
Those weren't my exact words, as I was five years old and in the first grade. Come to think of it, this is just how I would describe it today, the wonderful feeling I had then.
Oh, my goodness! It wasn't the food alone, you see! It was a combination of something so wonderful that it's worth celebrating!
It was the connection that made this great memory: my people, the out-of-this-world delicious Thai snack, the laughing, crying, even my mom's scolding.
It was about feeling safe, and trusting that you could fearlessly show yourself as who you are.
I connect with this saliva-drawing, mouth-watering Thai snack through the story with which it comes.
To this day, I don't know what exact dish “Auntie” had created. There are similar snacks that I can think of.
As far as the auntie, I don't even remember who she was. My grandmother, my mom, and those who were dear to me have moved on to different sectors in the universe, so there's no one around for me to ask.
Therefore, Auntie and her beautiful dish remain anonymous.
Today, I'm thinking of them. They are my stories from way back when - my good old days.
So, while I celebrate the happy memories, I continue to create my own story- right now, and here - at my home far away from home.
Without the original ingredients, but with so much love pouring into a dish, I will create a snack dish with a concoction of local ingredients. With my heart on my sleeve, I will cook it like a Thai.
Every dish comes with a story. Create yours.
Add your story to Thai cooking. Come cook like a Thai with me.
With much love, xx
Gafaae, aka Pradichaya